A pirate's life for me
by Norwegian-Troll
Summary: Emma is an orphan living on her own as a thief. Always keeping her chest laced tight to conceal her as a woman and her hair hidden in a hood she goes only under the name "Swan". One day she is recruited to work for The Jolly Rodger, and the ship's frustrating but fascinating captain. But what happens when the captain decides to keep Swan as his cabin boy? Rated M for smutt
1. Chapter 1

**AN. **_AU/NO CURSE_**. **_Emma is an orphan thief at the age of 19, living on her own. She doesn't know who her parents are, and no one else does either. She goes by the name "Swan" and she's pretending to be a boy. Being wanted for theft and with the royal guards closing in on her, she decides to leave town. After meeting Hook's crew she decides to board The Jolly Rodger and ends up as Hook's cabin boy. Please review. _

**Disclaim.**_ I do not own any of the OUAT characters, sadly._

Chapter 1.

* * *

_O Captain! My Captain! Our fearful trip is done;_

_The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;_

_The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,_

_While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring._

* * *

As Emma Swan walked through the crowded docks she looked into the shops that had taken place over the morning hours, trying to find herself a new pair of pants. She always traveled light, and only kept two sets of clothes, one set to wear and the other to keep in her sac. Her money purse was hanging from her belt, covered by her long brown leather coat. She kept her hair braided close to her skull and down her back, to make sure no one would see her golden locks. If anyone found out she was a woman, no one would hire her and she needed safe passage out of this land. The wanted posters that filled the town square had her face on them, and a price was on her head. As she walked her eyes caught the look of a couple of men walking straight in front of her, wearing old and worn out brown pants, washed out linen shirts. The smallest of the men was walking in the middle and wearing a red cap, and he had a money sac fastened to his belt. The purse was thick and she couldn't stop staring at it. Even though she had money, her instincts told her to prepare for a rainy day. So she followed the men, waiting for an opportunity to bump into the man in the middle and snatch his purse. The men kept steady paste through the crowd towards one of the most beautiful ships she had ever seen. She saw how people kept clear from the ship and instantly knew. This was a pirate ship. Emma stopped dead in her tracks. Stealing from the locals and the occasional royal guard was one thing, but she needed to plan this better to steal from a pirate.

Not knowing who the ship sailed under Emma decided to discretely ask the locals for information. Walking towards the nearest booth, witch luckily sold clothes; she kept stealing glances towards the ship. The old woman behind the booth smiled at her. Her face was wrinkled from old age, and she had a tan from the sun, but her grey eyes shone bright and looked sharp. "What can I do for you, sweetie?" she asked with a warm voice. "I'm looking for a pair of pants, mam." The woman nodded and started finding pants in every fabric Emma could imagine, from the finest silk to the roughest leather. She picked a pair in brown leather that she could see would sit loose on her legs and paid the woman two silver coins. Emma didn't even bother with negotiating the price down, and the woman was willing to give her information on the ship. "That's a pirate ship, boy. Run by the famous Captain Hook, a ghost from Davy Jones locker!" she eyed Emma and added; "I know they're looking for new recruits, if you need the money and can handle the sea." Emma smiled at her and nodded her goodbye before she went to the local tavern to get a beer for the summer heat.

On the walk up she started debating herself on whether or not she should enlist with the pirate ship to secure a passage out of town, and she could leave when they reached the next dock. On entering the tavern she decided that a beer was what she needed to make her final decision. The tavern was filled with sailors, so she sat down on a table by herself and ordered a beer. Sitting there listening to the sailors talk about their adventures and their conquests with each other she became more and more sure about her decision. She was going to ask for work at the ship.

Soon the same men that she followed at the docs entered the tavern, with many more in their company. The men placed themselves by the table beside her and started drinking. As the hours passed the men started laughing and talking loudly, and she continued watching them. As she tried to figure out which one of these drunks could possibly be the captain of the pirate ship the doors flew open. The men all stopped their conversations and looked at the lone man who had entered. His hair was dark as the night, and he was covered in a long black leather coat. His blue eyes shone through the room and landed on the men next to her. "Captain!" the man with the red hat shouted at the man. The man nodded towards the men but came over to her table. "Mind if I join you, lad?" his voice was dark and masculine. Emma swallowed hard before nodding, hoping that he wouldn't notice her hair. The man ordered himself a bottle of rum and kept his eyes on a bar wench that soon noticed his attention. She rolled her hips seductively towards our table and Emma couldn't help but roll her eyes. The wench soon found herself on the captain's lap, laughing loudly and shoving her breasts in his face.

Emma felt her cheeks blush and ordered herself another beer. "What's the matter, lad? Never felt the pleasure of a woman before?" the captain's voice caught her attention and she was stunned. Thankfully the wench came to her rescue. "My, my, captain! He's just a child, let him be!" she said with a high pitched voice, annoyed that she didn't have his full attention. Emma kept her eyes at the table and was relieved when the captain stood with the wench to go to a private room. His men cheered him on, leaving her to wonder if she really could hide her gender on the ship.

As she stood up the room started spinning, the beer and the summer heat taking its affect, and she fell over the pirates table. A large man grabbed her just inches away from landing on the bottles of rum, and the glasses of beer. As she looked at her savior, she looked into warm cherry colored eyes. He smiled at her and helped her back to her feet. "You should watch your step, lad! Would have been a shame if you spilled my rum, don't you think?" he said eyeing her closely. Emma nodded and started to walk away, only to feel his hand on her elbow gripping her hard. She winched from the pain and turned to look at him, waiting for the fight to happen. But he just looked at her with glossy eyes and pulled her close. "My name is Jefferson, boatswain on the Jolly Rodger. Walk with me, will you?" his voice was but a whisper at the end and Emma didn't see herself ripping out of his grip. She nodded and swallowed hard, trying to think of a way to get herself out of this mess as he guided her out of the tavern.

"You know lass; I've noticed you looking at us for a time now. First I thought you were there to get your fill with the pleasure a pirate may bring. But now I'm not so convinced." As Emma stood there in complete and utter shock her jaw fell open and Mr. Jefferson laughed so hard he almost fell to the ground. "I.. I.. I'm not a girl, sir!" She tried sounding her most astonished and irritated, noticing herself how her voice sounded weak and afraid. How could he have seen through her clothes? She knew her hair was hidden from her hood, and her chest was still hurting from being bound so hard.

"I don't blame you for trying to conceal yourself, lass. But you can't fool me. So, what is it you are after with the Rodger?" he looked at her with half a smile and bent his neck slightly towards the side. She took in the man in front of her. His pants were brown, but not as torn and wore out as the rest of the crews, his shirt was made from white linen and in his neck he had a red scarf. His boots were black leather, and she guessed his hair once had been the same color. Now it was stained with grey and his face looked worn by grief and old age. But something in his eyes made her want to trust him, at least enough to tell him some of the truth. "I wanted to ask for hire, if you needed two more hands. I need the work and the money, and a passage out of town." This was of course semi true, since she did need the money. And I needed passage out of town. A few weeks earlier she had robbed some of the royal guards, and she knew they were closing in on her. So to move town, even though it would pain her, was for the best.

Mr. Jefferson nodded understandingly and made a turning motion with his finger. She did as he commanded, but flinched when her hood was pulled back. "You would have to cut your hair, lass. But I can get you on our ship. We need as many hands as we can get. But I can't promise you that you will find women's work." Emma was ecstatic and nodded her head almost completely off. They decided that she would show herself at the docks before sunrise, with her hair cut, and he would take her to see the captain. As she walked towards the inn she was staying at she couldn't help but to touch her hair. As girly as it seemed, she didn't look forward to cutting it.

At sunrise she stood before the Jolly Rodger taking in the beauty of the ship. She was rather lovely, Emma had to admit. Waiting for Mr. Jefferson she touched her newly cut hair again. Her golden locks had reached her to the small of her back, but now it curled at the nape of her back. It was somewhat longer in front of her face to hide her feminine look. she wore her new leather pants, a loose white linen shirt and black leather boots. Her chest was painful since she tied it extra hard up today, thinking that it wouldn't be good to be on a pirate ship when everyone found out you were a woman. Growing up and going from port to port she heard stories about pirate's cruel ways with both each other, and locals, especially the women, who more than often got raped. A chill went down her back as she thought of being trapped alone on a ship with so many men. Hopefully they had all had their fair share of the local taverns wenches before they set sail.

As the sun rose onto the sky she still saw no sign of Mr. Jefferson, and she began to think that he had forgotten her. Just as she turned to walk away again she heard his voice call to her. "Hey! Come on aboard, lad! It's time to see if you get by the captain!" He waved his red scarf in the air and she smiled nervously before boarding the ship. The second her feet hit the deck he came up to her with a dark brown hat in his hand, pushing it onto her head. "For good luck." Was all he said before he took her by the elbow and walked towards the man from the tavern.

He still wore all black, leather and silk. His shirt had a deep neckline exposing his chest and his pants looked like they were painted on him. His eyes were still so blue that she found herself looking at the ocean bottom through them. He looked at her with cold and cunning eyes, a smirk on his lips. "Mr. Jefferson. This can't be the new set of hands you promised." He looked Mr. Jefferson dead in the eye, and the older man nodded. "Aye, Captain. The lad may look small and weak, but I have a feeling he'll surprise you." Emma looked from one man to the other, and that's when she noticed it. The captain had a hook for his left hand, and she finally understood what that old woman had talked about. The captain eyed her suspiciously and raised his right eyebrow. "Can you clean, scrub and polish?" he asked and all she could do was nod. "Answer me lad, or I'll see it fit that you have a watery grave sooner rather than later!" the captains words didn't scare her. She had grown up being threatened at least two dozen times a week, and to more gruesome deaths than that one. But seeing as this was her only chance, she swallowed hard. Her words almost got stuck in her throat; "Yes, Mr. Captain, sir." If she had blinked she was sure she would have missed the slight smile going over the captain's face.

"Very well then, you will be my new cabin boy. And I expect you to come when I call your name." Emma nodded and fought not to roll her eyes at him when he turned his back to her and started walking away.

After three steps he looked back at her. "What is your name, lad?" he asked. "Swan, Captain." She held her head high as she said her name. "Swan." He repeated and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN.** _I am truly sorry for publishing this chapter so late! I have had a couple of crazy weeks that left me with a bad cause of the writer's block. Hopefully you will find this chapter satisfying, and know that right after publishing this chapter I will start writing on the third. _

_To clarify a bit; Emma is running from the law after stealing from a group of royal guards, and has been granted work on Hook's ship as his cabin boy.  
_

_OH! And! Thank you so much for the reviews and the fav's for my story! You guys are amazing, and I shed a small tear (yes, honestly) of happiness when I saw it!_

**Disclaim. **_I sadly do not own any of the OUAT characters._

Chapter 2

* * *

_We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds._

* * *

After the captain walked away Emma found herself being surrounded by chaos. The ship was meant to sail the next morning, so there were sailors packing supplies and making the last preparations to the ship everywhere. She got pushed around until the man with the red cap came towards her. "Boy, the captain wants you to start cleaning and preparing his quarters while he goes into town. When he returns at dusk he is expecting a bath to be ready for him." Emma's mouth fell open. That damn pirate didn't waste any time to start ordering her around, and she found herself blush from rage. The man, who she decided call redhead, started walking away. She didn't even have the chance to ask him where she would find cleaning supplies, let alone the captain's quarters!

She stumbled around the ship for a while, opening every door she came to until she entered a big room. The bed was huge with blood red silk sheets, hundreds of candles and a huge desk dominating the space. Against the wall there was a bookshelf that hardly contained any books at all, maybe because all the books and maps were spread out on the floor, nightstands and desk. Emma sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. Of course she ended up being the cabin "boy" for the messiest captain she could possibly meet. She started picking up the books and placing them in their right place when the door flew open. Mr. Redhead looked at her and informed her that her hands were needed elsewhere. She sighed again, and walked after him, not knowing how she would ever be able to do her job before the captain got back. The last thing she needed was to be tossed off this ship, before she could even get her hands on some gold.

The sun hung low on the skies when she finally finished sorting the books into the bookshelf. Her entire body was hurting, and her hands were blistered from helping the crew carry boxes and fetching beer. She stretched her back and went to get a tub so the captain could get his god damn bath when he returned. And after dragging the damn thing into his quarters and filling it with boiling water Emma sat down on the floor beside it. She closed her eyes for what seemed like a second until the door once again flew open. Heavy steps dragged her from her sleep and she opened her eyes, only to look into the captain's boots.

He looked down at her and for a moment it was like he saw a ghost. "Sorry, Captain. I seemed to have fallen asleep." Emma's voice was still thick from sleep and she rubbed her eyes while stiffening a yawn. "Aye." Was all he said and he shook his head while stumbling away from her. She could smell the rum lingering in the air after him, and rolled her eyes. "Swan, I would like to take my bath now!" he said and started undressing. Not knowing where to look Emma studied the desk, feeling a feverish blush rise from her chest towards her face. The captain gave a small laugh before he lowered himself down into the bathwater. Emma's first instinct was to leave the room, but before she could she gave him a last glance, keeping her eyes at her face, and not at his body. He looked like he struggled to stay awake, so she decided to stay still in case he fell asleep and drowned. She stayed there watching him until he motioned to get out, and she had to rip her eyes away from him.

"I'll retreat now, Captain. You have a good night sleep." Emma said silently and walked towards the door, kicking herself for playing to submissive. If she got her ass kicked during these days on the ship she wouldn't be surprised. Pirates were numerous for turning on their own, and she could only hope that Mr. Jefferson would be there when they turned on her.

As Emma stood on deck and turned in every direction she remembered that no one had given her a place to sleep. She shook her head in frustration and tried to come up with a plan. Sleeping with the crew was out of the question, and it wasn't like she could crawl into the captain's bed. She staggered around the deck for a while before she noticed a small space behind the staircase leading up towards the second deck. She thanked the gods and crawled into the small hiding spot, pulled her cap over her eyes and allowed sleep to come over her.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN. **_AU/NO CURSE_**. **_Emma is an orphan thief at the age of 19, living on her own. She doesn't know who her parents are, and no one else does either. She goes by the name "Swan" and she's pretending to be a boy. After meeting Hook's crew she decides to board The Jolly Rodger and ends up as Hook's cabin boy. Please review. _

**Disclaim.**_ I do not own any of the OUAT characters, sadly._

Chapter 3.

* * *

_If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever._

* * *

As every night before Emma had her usual nightmare, waking her covered in sweat, shaking and in panic, leaving her awake after just a few hours' sleep. She had tossed and turned during the night so her chest bindings had become undone, and she quickly and clumsy tried to re-tie them under the staircase before anyone else would stir awake. The sky was still dark but due to the rising sun all the stars had left their heavenly bed for the day, and she found herself somehow sad not to see their reassuring light. She crawled back out from her hiding spot and stretched her legs out, feeling how the hard work the day before and the night underneath the stairs had taken a toll on her body. Every movement she made hurt, and she winched when she bent down to touch her toes. She heard footsteps and quickly straightened up, turned around and found herself face to face with the captain.

"Are you ready to test your sea legs, lad?" his voice was husky from sleep and she could see a glint of humor in his eyes. Not trusting her voice she nodded and walked towards the railing, looking out over the sea. She could feel him before she saw him standing next to her, gazing upon the vast ocean. "How come a landlubber like yourself decided to test your luck against the ocean herself?" Emma considered his question, and whether or not to answer him truly, when Mr. Jefferson and Mr. Smee entered the deck and the captain turned his attention towards the sailors. Mr. Jefferson looked closely at her, and when he was instructed to go ashore and gather the remaining supplies he requested her to accompany him. "If the lad will make you move quicker, then I see no wrong in it." was the captain's only response. Emma closed her eyes long enough to roll them behind her eyelids before following Mr. Jefferson off the ship.

"So, lass, how about you tell me more about yourself?" They were walking towards the butcher's shop when his voice broke the silence. She stole a glimpse of the elderly man beside her. His brown eyes were fixed on her, reassuring and warm, and nothing in the way he walked beside her led her to look at him as a threat. "How about you tell me your story, and then I'll tell you mine?" her voice was light and she saw the smiling forming on his lips before she heard his barking laugh. "You are a tough one, lass, I'll give you that!" he said with a smile in his voice and a glint in his eyes. And then he told her his story.

"I've been sailing under the captain now for almost my entire life. When our paths first met I worked in the navy, sailing under his brother Liam. It wasn't until Liam died that his brother decided to live a life in piracy. He gave us a choice, sail under him and a pirate flag or leave. Most of us chose to stay, myself included, and we have sailed together ever since. But before I set my foot on a ship for the first time I was a farmer. I married my sweetheart and she soon became heavy with our first child. A little girl at that, we named her Lucy. And when I said you reminded me of her, I was not joking. She had golden hair and fair skin, eyes dark as coal. She was a joyful child, loved to laugh and sing. And one day she was stuck ill with a fever. She died just three weeks from her twelfth birthday, fever burning right through her. My dear wife passed away from the grief only six mounts later. After that I joined the navy, and the rest you know."

He looked away from her, but not before she saw the lone tear falling from his eye. She raised my hand to comfort him, but let it fall. After a few minutes he looked at her again, and all traces of his previous emotions were gone. "What about your story, lass?"

Emma considered what to tell him, and where to begin. Finally she opened my mouth, and for the first time in her life, told someone her entire story without covering up anything.

"I'm an orphan; I can start by telling you that. I spent my first thirteen years with an old woman named Anna and her granddaughter Jane. But they were poor, and I knew that having to feed me as well was making Anna's life harder then it needed be. So I left. I bid them my goodbyes and started traveling the towns. When I was seventeen I ended up here. I got a job as a bar wench and earned just enough to keep myself fed and keep a roof over my head."

She hesitated as the memories of her next words flew over her body.

"Just before my eighteenth birthday when I was walking home from work some sailor that had been in the bar that night came up to me. He tried convincing me of joining him in his bed for the night, and I refused. Only, he didn't take no for an answer. He dragged me into an alley and raped me while holding a blade to my neck. Afterwards be beat me pretty badly, just for good measures. I quit my job the next day and found a good life as a thief. It's been a little over a year now."

Emma avoided his eyes as she finished her story, and she could feel the rage drifting of him. When they finally made it to the butcher Mr. Jefferson had yet to speak to her, instead he muttered curses under his breath, and promised death upon the young and drunk sailor if they ever crossed paths.

The sun was high on the skies when they returned to the ship, both of them carrying as much supplies as they could. The ship was spotless when they stepped foot on it, and as soon as the captain saw them he called for the anchor to be lifted and for the crew to set sails. They left the supplies with the cook and Mr. Jefferson decided that he had to find her a sleeping cabin, so she could be close if the captain decided on calling for her in the night. Emma knew that was only an excuse, but she bit my tongue, relieved that she didn't have to spend yet another night under the staircase.

He finally found a small bucket closet right next to the captain's cabin, and he helped her make a hammock for sleeping in. The closet was almost claustrophobic small but big enough for her. She spent the rest of the day gleaming and smiling. Mr. Smee looked at her with an amused smile while they ate their supper on deck that evening. "Young lads, great joys." He said nodding his head towards her closet and she gave him a grin. Maybe this trip wasn't going to be so bad after all. With the breeze giving them a much needed cool down everyone seemed to enjoy them self's, telling each other stories and tales of their adventures and the women who had kept them company. Even the captain was in a good mood. Emma found herself laughing with the men, even though she was securely sitting on a wooden box just above them, with Mr. Jefferson just below her.

Emma's first day out on the open sea hadn't been that much to brag about. Her stomach had her slightly worried about losing her meals. And the work seemed a thousand times worse and harder when the ship rocked with the waves. Maybe the captain was right. Maybe she was a landlubber, whatever that meant. Mr. Jefferson calmed down as soon as they hit the open waters but still kept a close eye on her at all times. He even dragged her to the side while she was cleaning the captain's cabin. "We should maybe tell the captain, lass." He said. Emma caught Captain Hook's eyes at that moment, and she shook her head. "Not just yet. Let's see how it plays out first." She smiled to Mr. Jefferson and continued her duties. He still traced her as a shadow, though. And if it continued then someone was bound to figure out that something was up.

She snuggled into her hammock that night, and prayed for a few hours' sleep without her nightmares. The cold air soothed her lungs and she found the smell of the salt water easing her weary stomach. As sleep dragged her under, she thought of the captain's reaction to knowing he had a woman on board.

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**AN. **_Oooh! My first under note! Tihi! Well. I never imagined being done with this chapter so quickly, or having it become so long. But I hope you don't mind to either of them! I'm thinking of maybe speeding up the Captain Swan theme soon, unless someone has an objection? Please keep up with the reviews!_

**Disclaimer. **_ I sadly do not own any of the OUAT characters. _


	4. Chapter 4

**AN. **_AU/NO CURSE_**. **_Emma is an orphan thief at the age of 19, living on her own. She doesn't know who her parents are, and no one else does either. She goes by the name "Swan" and she's pretending to be a boy. After meeting Hook's crew she decides to board The Jolly Rodger and ends up as Hook's cabin boy. Please review. _

_This is a short chapter, guys, and I'm sorry. I just really wanted to hurry up the story a bit. And I'm sorry for the long silence, but I had a bad case of writers-block, and I've been really busy. Sorry!_

**Disclaim.**_ I do not own any of the OUAT characters, sadly._

Chapter 4

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Black Eyed Jack is a pirate's tale,

the captain of a ship the Mighty Whale.

One day Black Eye and his crew,

the Black Eyed Band of Forty-two,

Set sail out of an evil port,

to take a ship called the Vigilant Fort

* * *

The days turned into weeks, and eventually Mr. Jefferson seemed to relax. Emma spent her days cleaning the Captain's cabin and helping where more hands were needed. The captain seemed to ignore her presence unless he needed something, which more often than not, seemed to be a new bottle of rum. Gaining new friends with the crew her continence kept nagging at her for lying to them all, but she knew that it was too late to reveal herself now. If the captain didn't kill her, the crew was sure to.

One night when the moon was full she was standing on the hem with Smee, looking out at the ocean. Most of the crew had gone under deck to gain some hours of sleep, but some was still sitting on crates and boxes, playing cards and drinking rum.

Smee looked at her with an amused face and took three steps away from her. She looked at him questionably before turning around to see what was so funny. Emma stood face to face with James Kelly and Edward, two of the younger crew mates, who held buckets filled with water. "Don't you DARE!" She said and shock her index finger at them, trying to look as scary as possible. Seconds later she found herself drenched in ice cold water, and she screamed loudly. Hearing heavy footprints running up the stairs of the hem, she turned and saw both the captain and Mr. Jefferson running towards them, looking like they expected danger at any corner. "What the bloody hell is going on here?!" the captain shouted, shooting daggers at them with his glare. James and Edward paled and Smee looked to his feet.

Emma could feel her body shaking and turning to ice as a small breeze curled itself over her body. The captain looked as them expectantly, waiting for a response. "It was just a joke, captain." James said so silently she almost doubted the captain had heard him. She found out just how wrong she was when he shouted; "A bloody JOKE? You could give the lad his death, and you think that was a bloody JOKE?!" he spat in James's face, raising his hook towards the boys neck. She had never seen him use the hook on a crewmember, but when they had boarded a merchandise ship a week back he had used it on the ship's captain.

Emma saw James's fear in his eyes, and he started shaking slightly. "It's my fault, captain! Don't blame them." she said, and noticed how her voice sounded weak and shaky. The cold had now taken residence inside her spine and her body shook violently. "Swan, unless you get yourself under deck and into some dry clothes I will make you walk the plank OR SO HELP ME GOD!" the captain screamed at her and she took a small step towards the stairs before she fell to her knees. Emma could hear the captain calling her name before darkness and cold surrounded her.

When she woke up she felt like she was on a cloud, she was clearly not in her hammock. She opened her eyes and saw that she was in the captain's quarters, in his bed. Her heart started racing and she sat up in shock. "And she is up." The captain's voice crept through the room and into her ears, and she turned her head in the direction of his desk. He sat in his chair with his legs on the desk and a bottle of rum in his hand. He watched her with intense eyes and took a shot of his rum. "W... What?" Emma's voice sounded weak and her throat was sore. The captain nodded towards her and she looked down and saw that she was wearing a black shirt made of silk. She could feel the bindings she usually had around her breasts were missing, and suddenly her blood felt like ice. Before she could open her mouth to explain, a coughing fit worked its way out of her body, and she could feel the blackness surrounding her again.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N. **_I wanted to give you Captain Hook's view on this whole situation *wink*. I've written his story in a "He" persona, and I will continue to do so over his chapters to come. Hopefully you will not kill me when you discover where this is going! Enjoy, and remember; Just like Killian Jones, Reviews make me go all fuzzy and giggly. And they do make me write just a bit faster ! *Winks again*_

**Disclaimer.**_ Really, nope._

* * *

_Sailing over the wide sea, that's the life, the life for me._

_Tipping back a bottle of rum, pass the drinks, raise the sum._

_Climbing up to the crow's nest, keeping a sharp eye, not getting much rest._

_Calling orders, swab the deck, all the items we must check._

_Working together, the crew as one. From morning to night in the burning sun._

* * *

When Swan first had boarded his ship, the lad had been small and fragile. Looking like no one had fed him for a while, and absolutely nothing like what he wanted in a new recruit. But Mr. Jefferson had begged him to allow the lad on board and prove his place, so the lad became his new cabin boy. He had started of slowly, tiring easily and getting seasick all the bloody time. But in time the boy had grown, and his muscles had started defining themselves on the boy's arms. His face had gone from a soft round and innocent one, to one with high cheekbones and shining eyes. The boy had a pretty face, but Killian doubted he would get any respect from his fellow crew members until he grew his first beards.

About two months after Swan had joined their crew, a cold and still night with a full moon he was in his quarters with Mr. Jefferson and a bottle of rum.

"_Captain, if we keep a steady course, we should reach Tortuga in a week."_ Mr. Jefferson stood leaning over the maps spread all over Killian's desk. _"Aye, and I do believe the crew would do well with steady ground under their feet and willing women in their beds."_ He chuckled slightly at the memories of their last trip to the pirate's heaven. Both men stayed silent while re-living their memories when a high pitched scream filled the air. They looked at each other and ran straight towards the door, and followed the sound until they came to the hem.

The first thing he saw when they left the staircase behind was a drenched Swan, Smee who looked like he was about to burst into a laugh and Edward and James Kelly with empty buckets at their legs. He could feel the flaming heat of his rage building up as he walked over to the bunch.

"_What the bloody hell is going on here?!"_ he shouted and stared at them. None of them answered and he saw Edward and James pale, but that only added to his rage. The seconds ticked by before James opened his mouth. _"It was just a joke, captain."_ He almost whispered, and Killian felt his blood boil with rage. _"A bloody JOKE? You could give the lad his death, and you think that was a bloody JOKE?!"_ He pulled up his hook to the young lad's neck and he instantly saw the fear in the lad's eyes and he started shaking slightly.

"_It's my fault, captain! Don't blame them."_ Swan's voice sounded small and weak, and he had to pull himself away from James to look the crew's youngest member in the eyes. He didn't know exactly how young the lad was, but his lack of facial hair told him that he was probably even younger than thirteen. _"Swan, unless you get yourself under deck and into some dry clothes I will make you walk the plank OR SO HELP ME GOD!" _He screamed and saw how the lad was shaking uncontrollably. The lad looked him in the eye a second longer before he took one step towards the stairs, and collapsed to his feet. _"Swan!"_ He tried screaming the lad's name but got no response. Cursing under his breath he walked over to the boy and scooped him into his arms, walking towards his quarters, not bothering to look back.

When he closed the door after them and placed the young boy on the bed, he knew that he had to remove the wet clothes before the boy truly ventured into Davy Jones's locker. When he had removed the boy's boots he easily ripped of his shirt with his hook, writing a note behind his ear to replace the ruined one in Tortuga, noticing a bandage around the boy's chest and stomach. He hadn't noticed that the boy had injured himself, but he couldn't be sure, so he untied the bandage carefully. As he removed the bandage he could see curves that even a blind man would recognize. When he uncovered the boy, nay, the girl's chest he drew a sharp breath. He cussed under his breath while he continued to remove the girl's clothes, until she lay naked in front of him. She was beautiful, creamy white skin and curves just in the right places. He raked his good hand through his hair and went into his closet to find her something to wear.

After he dressed the girl in one of his shirts and covered her with his blanket he sat down at his desk, opening a bottle of rum. He had to figure out how to handle this, and fast too. After drinking the entire bottle he stood up and walked straight out of the room and onto deck where he found Mr. Jefferson leaning towards the railing and staring out at the sea.

"_How is she?"_ Mr. Jefferson whispered, not turning to face his captain. "_You knew all along?"_ The silence stretched on between them as he leaned onto the railing beside his friend and crew member. Finally Mr. Jefferson sighed. _"Aye."_ Was all he said. The men stayed silent for a while, watching the night pass away. He almost forgot his friend's presence before the older man yawned. Shaking his head, Killian moved to walk back to his cabin only to smack himself on his head with his good hand. He had forgotten about the girl, nay, woman lying in his bed. He steered himself towards Swan's cabin, cussing when he tried to lie down in the small hammock.

The next morning when he woke up, he had a dreadful feeling of not knowing where he was, until he remembered last night's events. neck ed up his hook to the young lad'rage. hat only added to his rage. Swan, Smee who looked like he was about to burst into Everything came back to him, as the small hangover he had drummed the inside of his forehead, and he groaned. Dragging his right hand over his face his thoughts ran back to Swan, and how he was going to deal with this whole situation. Trying to pull his feet to the ground, he ended up tangling them in the hammock and fell face first to the floor. Cursing under his breath he stood and straightened out his clothes. For obvious reasons his crew couldn't be told that Swan had deceived them and that she really was a woman. He took his pride in being a gentleman, but after months at sea his crew was starved of the attention of the female gender, and the situation could turn out badly too quick. Walking out of the cabin he stared himself towards his own quarters, carefully unlocking and opening the door. His eyes were drawn to the creature lying in his bed.

Her hands were raised above her head, and her face looked peaceful. With full pink lips and golden lashes brushing her high cheeks she was a beauty, her hair had grown long enough to reach her shoulders, and her full breasts rose and sunk with her steady breaths. He walked over to her, only to notice a thin layer of sweat that covered every visible inch of skin. Raising his arm to her forehead he felt a fever, and cursed loudly, only to see her peaceful face being replaced by a small frown and a whimper escaping her lips. He walked over to the dressing table, filling a washing bin with cold water and taking a cloth, before turning towards her again. Placing a damp cloth on her face, he dragged the chair next to her bed and looked over her for a second. He needed answers, and dead women told no tales.


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N. ** I wanted to give you a view from both Hook and Emma's sides of the story, and I hope you will be satisfied *Winks*

Thank you so much for the reviews by the way, they make me go all fuzzy inside! Like a care-bear, only without the good heart… *Winks*

* * *

_Some men have died and some are alive_

_And others sail on the sea_

_With the keys to the cage_

_And the devil to pay_

_We lay to Fiddler's Green!_

* * *

_[Killian]_

Killian didn't know he had fallen asleep until he woke a few hours later, his bones stiff and his neck soar, and he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Swan was still asleep with her skin covered in sweat once again, the only movement and indication that she still were alive, was her rising and falling chest. As his fingers lightly brushed her forehead he could see her eyes flutter for a few seconds, before they again fell shut, and he sighed. He rose suddenly and straightened his clothing and walked through the cabin door, closing and locking it behind him. As soon as he stepped foot on the deck, the men swirled around him, asking him about the young lad's condition. For a moment Killian was puzzled, frowning slightly, until he remembered that only himself and Mr. Jefferson knew about Swan's secret.

Waving away the crew's concern, he started barking orders as he walked up to the hem to relieve Mr. Jefferson of his shift, and taking his place with the wheel. _"How is the lass doing?"_ Mr. Jefferson's voice sounded strained, and the man stiffed a yawn. _"She's got a fever, and I'm going to need you to look after her some for me during the next hours, old friend."_ Killian shifted the wheel three degrees to the starboard, and looked the other man in the eyes _ "If she awakens, come and get me immediately, and do not speak about her with anyone." _He watched the older man nod as he took the key to his quarters, and walk down to the lower deck, and eventually bellow the deck. Killian fixed his gaze on the horizon, willing the port of Tortuga to appear before him, and for Swan to suddenly stand beside him and give him all the answers.

_[Emma]_

_When she looked into his eyes, she saw the ocean. The smell of rum and ocean filled her nose, and his body felt warm beside her. His name left her lips as a whisper, Hook, and his eyes wandered over her body. His face turned into a frown, and she followed his gaze, her eyes widening when she saw herself in a dress. No, this wasn't right. He couldn't know. He raised his hook above his head, anger in his eyes, and he barrowed it in her chest. She screamed his name as the pain overtook her, and she felt the flames of hell, licking and caressing her body._

She was on fire. Her skin felt raw and when she opened her eyes, a silent scream escaping her lips, until she felt the rocking of the ship underneath her. She crooked her head to the side and saw Mr. Jefferson sound asleep in a chair beside her, the old man's hands resting peacefully in his lap, as he snored slightly. _"Water."_ she said, but the sound coming from her mouth sounded more like a croak. Old Mr. Jefferson startled awake and looked at her for a good long second, before he rose from his chair, and leaned over her. _"Hush hush, lass, don't try to speak. Do you want some water? And would you like me to help you sit up? Try to nod your head, and don't strain you voice. Do you want me to get the captain?"_ his voice was emotional as she nodded her head for the water, and when he turned to get her a cup of water, only to turn around and give her a stern look, _"Don't you dare die on me."_

The water had soothed her throat and when she sat up Mr. Jefferson had almost had a small heart-attack, until he was allowed to fluff her pillows behind her back, and when she looked at the old man she saw him watching her carefully. It was a bit un-nerving, almost like he expected her to fall dead at any second. _"The captain."_ she paused; not knowing how to formulate her questions _"Did I dream about him being here? About him knowing?"_ She bit her lip when she saw Mr. Jefferson shift uncomfortably under her stare. _"I'm sorry lass, but I need you to know, he won't hurt you. He is a gentleman, but you must answer his questions, darling. And pray that he has mercy on you."_ When Mr. Jefferson left to get the captain she drew a shaky breath, finally noticing what she was wearing. A black shirt with a deep neckline made of fine silk. Exactly like the ones the captain usually wore. Pulling her blanket further up through her body, she looked up when the captain opened the door, and she started shaking.

_Dear God, please don't let him hurt me._


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N.**_ Oh my GOD! You guuuys! The rewievs are making me all fuzzy and cozy inside and I'm turning in to a giggily girl!  
Thank you! This chapter is written for the both of them as well, and its short. I know. But I promise a longer chapter in the next one!  
Hope you like it, and I have a feeling that after they reach Tortuga, Emma woun't be the only girl on the ship *WINK*  
Until then; Enjoy._

* * *

_And if you come, when all the flowers are dying_

_And I am dead, as dead I well may be_

_You'll come and find the place where I am lying_

_And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me._

* * *

_[Emma]_

Emma fisted the blankets in her hands, and dragged it up to her throat, hoping it would somehow protect her from the storm she knew he was bringing. She felt her body shake and a feeling of pure panic settled its claws around her heart. Hook just stood there for a moment, watching her, waiting. She tried to hold his eyes but the anger she saw in them reminded her too much of her nightmare, and she looked down at her hands. She heard him move towards her and instinctively put her head down and covered it with her hands, waiting for a punch, but it never came. She held her position and her body was now trembling and she heard him sitting down in the chair next to her.

_"Look at me."_ his voice was cold, and a shiver ran down her spine. Shaking her head she felt tears sting her eyes, waiting in vain to be released. _"__**Look at me!**__" _his voice was louder this time, and she whimpered, but allowed her hands to fall to her lap and raised her head. His eyes were hypnotizing her, blue as the ocean, but the flames of anger behind them burned her. She let her eyes drop to his lips.

_"Captain, please, let me explain!"_ her voice shook, and she knew she sounded weak and defeated.

_"Oh, you will explain. You will answer all my questions, and you will do so truthfully. If I think you are lying, I will throw you to the mermaids, and please them with a feast."_ she whimpered again as his harsh words filled her ears. All she could do was nod and a small tear ran down her cheek.

_"What is your name, and your purpose for joining my crew? Why did you conceal yourself? And why did you not inform me of who you truthfully was?"_ He sounded every bit as angry as he looked, his cheeks flustered and a sneer on his lips.

Emma looked everywhere except him, from the small cabin window to the desk he had now messed up again, and back. She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to figure out just what to say.

_"My name is Emma Swan. I joined your crew because I needed safe passage out of town. I concealed.." _Hook cut her off suddenly, his fist clashing down at the mattress beside her, and growled. _"I think you're lying. Safe passage my arse! Maybe you just figured you could earn my men's gold, while whoring yourself in their beds!"_

Emma felt the rage boil up in her blood. How dare he accuse her of prostitution? Of being a common pirate's whore?! Before her mind registered what she was doing she had slapped him across the face, her palm stinging, his face with a red handprint across his cheek. She sprung out of the bed and screamed, not caring how much of her body he saw, and let her anger and angst out. _"What? Do I look like a common __**whore**__ to you?" _she shouted and pointed at him.

Now Hook was standing as well, arms raised towards her in a surrounding way, but his face was twisted in rage. _"How am I supposed to know; why some wench deceived her way onto my ship?!"_ he shouted and started stepping towards her. _"When we hit Tortuga, you will get off this ship, until then you will be confined in the bloody brig!" _He tried to grab her, but ended up with piercing his hook through the wall beside her head. Emma flinched, and ducked under his arm and behind his back, a determination in her mind. _"I will __**not**__ be leaving in Tortuga. I will stay on this bloody ship for as long as I wish! And I will not be confined in the brig, so shut your bloody mouth and don't you __**dare **__try to touch me again!"_ she screamed and picked up the first thing she could find. A bottle of rum. As soon as the captain turned around, she threw the bottle towards him, disappointed when it hit the wall instead of the captain's pretty face. Wait, what? No, his face wasn't pretty. He was an asshole, and she was outraged, screaming curses at him, tears running down her face.

They both shook with rage, her face tear stained, and his filled with rage. She shook her head and looked at him with hurt eyes; _"I thought you were a good man, captain. But I was wrong. You are an up stuck, arrogant, and ignorant and heart cold asshole."_ She said before walked up to the door, threw the door open, and ran out. She ran through the corridor and up the stairs leading towards the deck, not thinking about her actions, looking for Mr. Jefferson. She was scared. It wasn't until she reached the deck and saw all the men froze, that she realized where she was, and what she was wearing.

_[Killian]_

When he first entered the cabin, he saw her shaking, the fear in her eyes. He knew she still had a fever, Mr. Jefferson had begged him to go easy on the lass in concern of her health, but he was boiling inside. She had lied to him for three months, looking him in the eye every day with deceit, conceiving herself. When he walked over to her she covered her head, and he felt a bang of pity towards her, but it was short lasted. His anger overthrew him, devouring him.

Their fight had overthrown him; he wasn't expecting nor hoping what she would fight back, and his rage multi-filed. When she had thrown the bottle of rum at him, he wanted to shout at her for ruining good rum, but she hadn't given him a chance to speak. Her words were meant to hurt him. But he was too angry to be hurt, and her words to innocent, so he just stared at her as she opened the door and ran outside.

Killian stood there watching the door for a few minutes, calming down, until he remembered just how much, or little, she was wearing. _"Bloody hell…"_ he muttered while rolling his eyes, and walked out after her, cursing her under his breath.


	8. Chapter 8

A.N This chapter was a hard nut to crack. I must warn you, it contains a description of rape. I hope you enjoy it though!

Oh, and by the way; THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS, FAV'S AND FOLLOWINGS! They make me feel fuzzy inside!

Continue to review, fav and follow and I promise it does make me write faster! *Wink*

Next chapter will be aaaalll Hook!

* * *

_Here comes the last time,_

_Here comes the start of every sleepless night,_

_The first of every tear I'm gonna cry,_

_Here comes the pain._

* * *

_"Oh, fuck." _Emma's voice was barely more than a whisper, as she tried to pull the shirt further down her thighs, and close the neckline over her chest. She heard the men whisper amongst them and she felt their eyes on her body. Heavy footsteps closed in on her and suddenly a heavy cloak surrounded her body followed by a pair of heavy hands. She jerked her head over to the side and saw Mr. Jefferson's flushed face, twisted in anger and worry, right next to hers.

_"What in the bloody hell are you doing here? What happened?"_ he almost shouted at her, and she felt his fingers swiftly brushing away her tears, before he pulled her into a tight hug. Even though she struggled to breathe as her chest was crushed, she had never felt so safe before in her life, and she returned the hug. Sobbing heavily she tried to answer his questions, but all that came out of her mouth was a pained cry. _"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!"_ she cried into his shoulder. She felt him stiffen against her as she heard the hatch that lead under deck opened. She sniffed and turned around to see Hook enter, anger drawn on his face, and her fear returned. As Hook looked around him she saw the men look away and drop their heads in submission. Hook turned towards her and she kept her eyes to the ground and took a step back towards Mr. Jefferson.

_"You two, in my quarters. __**NOW!**__"_ Hook shouted and pointed at her and Mr. Jefferson. She felt the older man's hands tighten on her shoulders as he steered her towards the hatch, that Hook again had disappeared through, and her tears started running again. It only took them ten steps to reach the hatch, and as she walked down the staircase she feared the worst. Looking over her shoulder towards Mr. Jefferson she saw his face was grim and her chest tightened painfully. They walked towards the captains quarters and she ignored the older man's warning look as she opened the door and walked through it.

The captain was sitting behind his desk with a bottle in his hands, and Emma just knew inside her that it was rum, and he placed the bottle to his lips before he looked at them. They walked through the room and stopped in front of the desk. Mr. Jefferson shifted uncomfortably beside her and she felt herself reaching out and grabbing his hand in hers. They remained silent for a long time, and Emma felt herself getting tired again, leaning heavily on Mr. Jefferson for support.

Hook took a deep breath before he met her eyes, and for a moment she thought she saw regret in them. Maybe there was reason to hope after all? Her hope was crushed when she heard Hook's next words come out of his mouth; _"I want this whore of my ship. Now."_ his voice was so cold that she felt a shiver go down her spine. And then his words registered. Her fear was replaced by boiling anger and she lifted her index finger at him accusingly. _"I'm __**not**__ a whore, you idiot!"_ she shouted. Both of the men ignored her and she soon felt her energy resolving and leaving her.

_"Captain, we have to help her!"_ Mr. Jefferson's voice was thick with emotion, but his face had none.

_"Bloody hell we do! The wench snuck her way onto my ship! I have no obligations for her safety!"_ the captain answered.

The men kept arguing while Emma tried to keep herself standing. She leaned heavily on the desk now, struggling to keep herself up, and to keep herself awake. After what felt like years of listening to the men they seemed to come to some sort of an agreement. _"I'll tell them she is my daughter. That she came because she didn't want to live alone anymore. They will keep away from her, and if they don't, then I will handle it. None of this has to come to you, captain."_ Mr. Jefferson's words got Emma's attention and she looked from him and onto Hook, that actually seemed to consider her words.

_"Very well. You can tell them what you want."_ Hook looked at her and pointed at her with his namesake, _"And you. Go lie down before you fall down. You may stay, until we reach Tortuga. Then you will leave."_ Without the energy to argue, she stumbled towards his bed and jumped under the blanket. As she lay her head on the pillow she heard the men saying their goodbyes. As she turned to her side in an attempt of getting comfortable she saw Hook removing his shirt.

_"Wh.. What are you doing?"_ she croaked. She saw how his lean muscles moved under his skin while he pulled the shirt over his head. He turned towards her and lifted an eyebrow in amusement, his anger apparently forgotten, and he removed the brace that connected to his hook. Her eyes followed his every movement and she felt her face go warm from the blush rising. _"What does it look like, love? I'm going to catch some hours of sleep before my next shift at the hem."_ his voice was soft like velvet, but also thick with sarcasm. Maybe his anger wasn't completely forgotten after all. When he moved his hand towards the laces of his pants she almost fainted. _"No, please!"_ the words left her mouth before she could stop them and she saw his curiosity in his face.

_"Very well."_ he said before he kicked his boots of before he crawled into bed with her, and she crawled as far into the wall as she could. He chuckled slightly but didn't comment on it, and she felt panic blurring her vision and the memories to vivid in her mind. After a few minutes she could hear his breathing evening out and she knew he was asleep. She struggled to keep awake, but the darkness soon surrounded her, and she could feel her nightmare coming.

* * *

_Emma's feet were killing her. The tavern had been busy tonight, and she had been running around to keep up with the study flow of sailors coming to drink, and avoiding their touchy hands. She was on her way back to the inn where she was staying, already dreaming of her bed, and getting off her feet. While she had let her mind wander, she hadn't noticed the sailor coming behind her, and she soon felt his hands around her waist. She could smell the alcohol on his breath, and he continued trying to lure her into his bed. Emma refused, feeling the fear creep its way towards her, and she tried to reach for the dagger she kept hidden in the waist of her skirts. _

_The anger in his face had been like a bucket of cold water, and he hit her hard over her face. She cried out in pain as he dragged her into an ally and threw her into a wall. She hit the back of her head and fell to the ground. When she looked up she saw him fiddling with the laces of his pants, and she froze. The sailor chuckled darkly and lowered himself to his knees. When the man pulled her towards him by her legs she started screaming and struggling to get away, twisting and turning, kicking and punching. _

_The man forced her knees apart, pulling her skirt up to her hips. He hit her across her face, and she felt a cold metal to her throat. Once more, she froze, unable to do anything. The man placed himself to her entrance, and pushed himself inside of her. The pain had almost been unbearable, and she had screamed until there came no more sound, wishing her own death as well as the sailors. It felt like it lasted forever, and when he emptied himself inside her he grunted, rose to his feet and placed himself back into his pants._

_Emma had turned to her side, pulling her legs towards her stomach and allowed the tears to run freely. She felt dirty. Violated. Hurt. And in pain. She had believed that the sailor had left, but then she felt a kick towards her ribs. She tried to scream, but no sound had escaped her lips, and he had continued kicking and hitting her._

* * *

Emma woke by a hand shaking her, and she went into a fight or flight mode, kicking and hitting her attacker. She felt her fist connecting with something and her senses started coming back to her. She could feel the heat of another person, in a bed. She could smell rum, the ocean and spices, and she knew she had smelled that before.

_"Swan! Swan! Emma!"_ Hook's voice filled her ears and she opened her eyes. When she saw him leaning over her, she couldn't explain the feeling of relief washing over her. She reached her hands around his chest, leaned into it, and cried.


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N. **_Some of you requested a longer chapter, so here it is! 1.561 words in just the story itself. And I do thank you all for your kind reviews! And favorites, and follow's! This chapter will, hopefully *crossing my fingers*, wanting more. And until next time, Enjoy._

* * *

_When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them._

* * *

Killian hadn't been expecting, or wanting, to fall asleep. He normally slept naked, but the look on miss. Swan's face when he reached to remove his pants had stopped him. When he had crawled into bed with her, she had crawled into the wall, earning her an amused smirk upon his face. He was soon jerked from his peaceful slumber, by a crying and screaming Swan. He sat up and tried shaking her shoulder, whispering her name, trying to wake her up. Her cries increased and tears fell down her cheeks, staining his pillow, leaving wet stains in their paths.

_"Swan, you have to wake up. It's just a nightmare_!" he tried shaking her shoulder again, but she wouldn't wake up.

_"Swan. Swan. Emma_!" his voice was more urgent now, and she started kicking and hitting. When her fist connected with his jaw, he cussed, and shook her even harder. When she opened her eyes, he wanted to praise the gods. Moving to lean back from her, he suddenly felt her arms go around his torso, and she leaned into his chest crying. He wrapped his damaged hand around her back, and let his fingers move into her hair, making soothing sounds. He leaned them back into the bed and felt how she wrapped herself around him, crying and sobbing heavily.

_"Please, don't let him hurt me again."_ her words were so soft that for a second he thought he imagined it.

_"Shhh, love. No one is going to hurt you."_ he spoke into her hair, and before he could stop himself, he kissed the top of her head. Not since Milah had he allowed any women to stay a night in his bed. And never since Milah had he allowed his lips to connect with another woman, even if it was as innocent as this. He cursed himself and tried to pull away, but Swan kept him in place with her continuous crying. He hadn't been lying when he told Mr. Jefferson that he had no obligations towards the girl, but he couldn't find it in himself to leave her in such distress. Swan kept crying for a while, her whole body shaking against his, and he decided to find out just what had made her this scared. But before he could ask, he felt her go still beside him, and he knew from hearing her breaths that she had fallen asleep once more.

Killian didn't get any more sleep that night, as he stayed awake to guard over Swan, who seemed to sleep the whole night through with no more nightmares. As soon as the dawn started to show in the window of his cabin, he tried removing her from him, so he could go relieve Mr. Jefferson at the hem. As soon as he got out of the bed he saw a small frown appear on her face, and she whimpered slightly. Rolling his eyes to himself he traced his fingers across her cheek, and his heart skipped a beat when she sighed heavily and leaned into his touch. He jerked his hand back, attached his brace with his namesake, and pulled on a shirt. Once he was fully dressed he walked towards the door, and with a last glimpse towards her, he walked out.

When he got out on deck the cold air whipped towards his face and he drew a heavy breath. Walking towards the hem he could feel Mr. Jefferson's eyes on him. The old man had really taken the girl under his wings, and Killian could understand why. He knew that the older man had lost his wife and daughter, and that the girl resembled his daughter, but why he would go to such length for Swan was something Killian didn't understand. But hopefully, he would be getting his answers really soon, either from Jefferson or from Swan. When he got up to the second deck, Jefferson saluted him, and stepped aside so Killian could take his place. As soon as he had his hand and hook on the wheel, he felt himself relax a bit and looked over at Jefferson.

_"What happened to her?"_ his voice filled the air and he saw Jefferson's body jerk at the surprise of his question.

_"I'm sorry, Captain. But that's not my story to tell, you would have to ask the lass herself."_ Jefferson refused to meet his eyes and he felt himself get more and more impatient. He waved the older man off, and told him to get some sleep, while he steered the ship three points to starboard. He continued mumbling under his breath about Jefferson's answer while the crew poured out on deck and carried on towards their posts. Six more days and they would reach Tortuga, and he would get this bloody woman of his ship, and get release from the tension building inside him.

Tortuga offered many brothels and taverns, and he was sure he would find an acceptable woman to share his bed, if only for a few hours. He smirked at the thought and continued their course, relaxing and enjoying the sun, and the wind upon his face. The crew talked amongst themselves, and the hours passed as dinner time came upon them. Gilbert, the cook, shouted from the hatch leading below deck; _"Unless you want to starve, I suggest you fine ladies come fetch it yourselves!" _Killian laughed as he heard the crew's answers and comebacks towards the chef, including a few indications on whether or not they should show the poor lad how much of men they were.

Yes, he concluded to himself, the crew would benefit from Tortuga's many fine establishments as well. He could see Mr. Smee coming towards him, and already knew the question the man had, so he raised his good hand towards his crewmember and shook his head. Mr. Smee just nodded, turned his heal, and walked towards the hatch and no doubt the galley. He would wait for the crew to finish their dinner, and then he would take his with the swan in his quarters. The hour passed in silence, and when Mr. Smee once again came towards the hem, Killian reluctantly released it to him. When he got under deck he ordered Gilly, or Gilbert as his Christian name was, to bring two portions to his cabin. The young lad had come aboard the Jolly just a year before Swan, running from a troubled past, and Killian had somehow taken the boy under his wings. Now it was like the lad looked at him as a father, and he did everything Killian asked. Not only for loyalty, but also for the hope of pleasing him, hope of recognition.

As he walked into his cabin he saw Swan sitting at his desk, his blanket stuffed around her body, and a book in her hands. He took a minute just to stare at her, her hair was thrown over her left shoulder, and her face was showing fierce determination and concentration. He closed the door behind him with his foot, watching how she jumped in surprise, and a frown appeared on his face.

"_What are you reading?"_ his voice sounded harsher than he expected, and he saw how she froze.

"_I'm sorry! I was bored, and I found this book. It's about navigating by the stars, it's quite good, actually."_ her words ended in a whisper, and he found that his anger suddenly disappeared. Damn bloody woman.

He ran his good hand through his hair and walked towards his desk, pulling out a chair with his hook and sat down. _"Dinner is on the way, I take it you are hungry?"_ the minute his words left his lips he could hear her stomach growling and a crimson coloured blush rose up her face. He only laughed, which seemed to set her blush to a deeper colour, and she looked down. As on cue, there was a knock on the door, and when he shouted a welcome Gilly entered with a tray in his hands.

The lad smiled at Swan, but soon averted his eyes when Killian cleared his throat, and he scrambled to place the tray on the table. As soon as his hands left the object, the boy did anything but run towards the door, closing it firmly behind him. Killian smiled as he placed one of the plates in front of Swan, along with a glass, before he cared for himself. Swan immediately started shoving food into her mouth, groaning with pleasure as she swallowed, and he found himself smiling once more. They ate in comfortable silence, and after they finished eating he got his flask of rum from his coat. He nudged the bottle towards her glass, and when she nodded he poured her some, before he filled his own.

"_So, love."_ he began, not sure how to phrase his question, or how she would react; _"Would you mind telling me who the man who hurt you is? And how, if I may ask, he hurt you?"_ He could see the pain in her eyes, and she sighed.

"_If I'm going to tell you, captain, I'm going to need a lot more rum."_ She looked him in the eye, and drank the entire glass.

He raised an eyebrow and filled her glass again and waited for her to speak.


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N. **_You have requested longer chapters and more updating, and here you go. The longest chapter I've ever written, so long that I had to cut it in half. So the other half will come within the next days.  
_

* * *

_She went her unremembering way,_  
_She went and left in me_  
_The pang of all the partings gone,_  
_And partings yet to be._

* * *

Emma looked into the captain's eyes, searching for any clue that he was not to be trusted, despite his actions over the past three, almost four, months. The still lingering after burn of her first glass of rum was spreading through her veins, and as she raised a second glass to her lips, she saw a spark of curiosity and amusement in his eyes. Damn bloody pirate.

"_Tell me a secret. Something no one else knows."_ Her voice sounded strange, almost pleading, and when she saw the look on his face she hurried to continue her sentence; _"__So we'll both be in the same boat, you know? I know something of you, you know something of me."_ She saw how he lifted his right arm to his head, and scratched himself behind his ear. A small part of her melted at the cute and almost shy movement, but she soon pushed it down. The silence between them carried on for a few minutes, none of them willing to back down first, but finally he sighed.

"_After all this time, I still ask myself what my brother would do. And I ask the stars too, hoping that he's up there watching me, but at the same time, I hope he doesn't see what's become of me."_ His voice was so silent, so broken, that she almost couldn't bear it. She watched him closely, seeing no sign of him lying, but she noted how he wouldn't meet her eyes.

Sighing heavily, she leaned over the table and grabbed his bottle of rum, drowning a sip before she considered where to start. A deal was a deal, and now it was her time to uphold her end of the bargain. Feeling the slight buzz of the rum, she started her story, and only hoped that her voice would carry until the end.

"_I've been an orphan all my life, but I spent my early years with an old woman and her granddaughter, only leaving the comfort of their home when I turned sixteen. I traveled some, always keeping close to the ports so I could make a quick escape if needed be. I concealed myself as a boy, much like I did when I came onboard your ship."_ She smiled slightly at the memories and took another sip of the rum. _"__When I was seventeen I ended up in the small port you picked me up in. I got a job as a bar wench at the Standing Man's Inn and tavern, and I earned just enough to keep myself fed and a roof over my head. I got used to all the men's wandering hands and ungentlemanly comments pretty fast, so I never gave them a second thought. And then one night when I was walking home from work, just before my eighteenth birthday, a sailor stopped me. He grabbed me and pulled me into an dark alley, raped me and left me so badly beaten that I couldn't go back to work for three weeks. I lost my job, ended up as a thief, and then I came to work for you."_

She hurried through the story, taking yet another sip of his rum when she was done, and refused to look at him. She wondered what he was thinking, but a part of her already knew. He looked at her as a dirty whore, one who had asked for it. She felt the tears sting in the back of her eyes, but she willed them not to fall, and took a fourth sip of his bottle before she handed it back to him without lifting her eyes. She could feel his fingers brushing lightly against hers as he took the bottle, and she made haste with releasing it.

"_It wasn't your fault, lass__."_His words were strong, confident, so sure of their own rightfulness. Everything she wasn't. She only shrugged before making sure her face showed no emotion, and looked up at him. She inhaled deeply when she saw the look on his face. Like with Mr. Jefferson she could feel the rage radiate from him like heat waves, but the look in his eyes made her feel so protected, and at the same time so exposed. His eyes showed nothing but hatred when they averted from hers, but as soon as he looked at her again, there was an emotion she didn't feel comfortable describing. But instinctively she knew he wouldn't hurt her.

"_It is what it is, there is no changing the past."_ She forced a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes, and Hook nodded in agreement. She watched him fill her glass, once more, and filled his own, raising it in a toast to her; _"__To not being able to change the past, and to smooth seas!" _he said and she clinked her glass towards his, before they both emptied them.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, both deep in their own thoughts, until Hook motioned to get up. She looked at him questionably, raising an eyebrow at him, waiting for an explanation. _"__Got to get back to the hem, love. The crew can't seem to function without their fearsome leader guiding them."_ He winked at her and she rolled her eyes at him, a genuine smile spreading across her lips. As he walked out of the cabin, she reached for the book again, and found herself consumed by both Capella, the little she-goat, and Bellatrix, the female-warrior. She huffed to herself, who in the world named the stars with such names? She continued reading until the sun disappeared from the window in the cabin and her eyes stung. Closing the book, she rose and walked towards the bed, undraping herself of the blanket. When she lay down and pulled the blanket over her tired body, she found herself thinking about the captain, and if he was talking to his brother using the stars right now. When the darkness surrounded her, she could barely feel Hook lying next to her and herself snuggling towards him.

When she woke the next morning the bed was empty and cold beside her. Instead of the captain she found a pair of pants, a white shirt and a corset, and she just lied there, staring at the clothes with a confused glare. They were obviously made for a woman, that was for sure, but in her still half-asleep mind she didn't connect the dots right away. She just shook her head and felt the fabrics with her fingers, surprised to find them soft to touch. Stealing a glimpse through the cabin she confirmed her suspicions that she was alone, and she crawled out of the bed, and got dressed.

When she walked up on deck the sun was warm on her face, and she felt like she hadn't seen it for years, and the air was clean and salty, removing the last bits of sleep from her mind. She searched the deck for the captain, and found him standing at the bow with Smee. Walking towards them, she noted how the crew gave her confused but content stares, and she even saw some of them smile at her. Apparently the word that she was Mr. Jefferson's daughter had spread, and with the respect she had earned from them by herself, it seemed to boost her status amongst the crew. When she reached the captain and Mr. Smee both men turned to look at her, Smee with an anxious look on his face, and the captain with a grin on his.

She was set to work immediately, helping in the galley and working under Gilly's supervision. It wasn't hard work, but she found herself exhausted at the end of the day, and in the evening she fell into the bed she shared with the captain with a groan. He just chuckled at her and made himself comfortable beside her. They hadn't been able to talk much that day, and they hadn't been able to share even one meal as the crew took possession of her, wanting to show their happiness that she was doing better and she was still alive. And the day had been fun, working with Gilly. He was a cute boy, and he was absolutely smitten with her, and everyone knew. The crew had teased him a bit earlier during the day, but she had put a firm stop to it, standing by the boy instead of the older men.

The next five days continued in this manner, and soon she heard shouting from the crow's nest, signaling land ahead. They had actually reached Tortuga. A small pang of panic sat in her stomach, and she wondered if the captain really would abandon her here, or if he had a change of heart. She walked up to the main deck, watching how an island seemed to appear from nowhere, and she felt the ship shifting in the waves, steering towards it. She clenched her fists at her side. She would be leaving there, no matter what the captain had decided. This had been her plan all along, and just because she had suddenly found herself in the position of caring of both the crew, and the captain, she wouldn't change that fact. She shook her head, and started mentally prepare herself.

She would be leaving the Jolly Roger, today.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A.N.** Ah, here we are again. I'm sorry for uploading this chapter so late, but I've had quite the few days, filled with one problem after another. This is however the secound part of the previous chapter, and there for it is short. Yes, I know, You have been screaming for longer chapters, and to make it up to you;Next chapter will be with Killian's point of view; And contain some smutt! *Winks*  
I am trying to keep it as realistic as possible for Emma's situation as a rape victim, but truth is; Some don't ever recover. But I wanted some smutt,  
So there will be smutt. Also. I'm looking for a beta-reader, so if anyone is feeling helpfull just send me a PM!  
Untill next time, dearies, enjoy!  
_

* * *

_Goodbyes are not forever.  
Goodbyes are not the end.  
They simply mean I'll miss you  
Until we meet again!_

* * *

_She would be leaving the Jolly Roger, today._

Emma walked purposely into the captain's cabin, finding the small sack she had brought with her, and started packing down her few possessions. It only took a few minutes, and after she was done she found herself looking at the place that had been her home for three months now. When she had fist woken up in the captain's cabin, it had been messy, like a storm had passed within the four walls. She smiled despite herself, and gave herself a small pat on the back, because now the cabin was in order. Everything was in its rightful place, but still enough mess to acknowledge that it was lived in. A couple of maps and papers were spread on the desk, and the bed was still unmade from where she had been lying in it, just hours before. A feeling of nostalgia crept upon her, and she swore she could feel the warmth of the captain beside her, in the bed, when they were surrounded by dark.

When she re-emerged at the deck she saw Hook steering the Roger into port with ease, and she had to drag her eyes away from him. It was better this way; that she left before he could have the chance to throw her away, because everyone always left her. And this time it would be different, she would make a new life for herself, far away from the ocean and the thoughts of her life on the Jolly Roger. As soon as the anchor was dropped and the gangplank hit the docks everyone buzzed with excitement. It was like someone had stepped on an anthill, and all the ants ran outside, if only to see what the commotion was all about. She saw how Hook walked towards them, giving every man his earnings in gold coins, and she saw how they all left the second the money hit their palms. Smiling to herself and lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice Hook and Mr. Jefferson appearing in front of her, confused looks in their eyes.

"_Are you going ashore, lass?"_ Mr. Jefferson's voice was concerned, and the way he looked at her made her stomach twist in a painful knot.

"_It's time for me to leave now. If I'm remembering the captain's words correctly, he wanted me of his ship in Tortuga. And I will of course obey his orders." _She was relieved to hear that her voice didn't carry any of her concerns or fears, and she kept it even, looking at her feet.

"_Aye, I did say that, didn't I? Well, I suppose it would only be fair of me to give you the pay that you deserve. Good luck, lass."_ Captain Hook's words stung, and before she could open her mouth, he handed her a small pouch, turned his heal and walked towards his cabin. Mr. Jefferson only looked at her with a pained expression on his face, and she put her arms around the older man, hugging him tightly and thanking him before she turned and walked off the Jolly Roger. She didn't look back, because she knew that if she did, she would just run back and beg the captain to allow her to stay. So she kept walking, surrounded by people, booths and animals. Merchants shouted praises about their merchandise, people were walking around looking into the different booths, and children were running around, laughing and playing.

It looked like a good place to make a new home, and as she walked, she followed the flow of the crowd. She stopped in various booths, enchanted by the different sights and smells, and the sun soon settled in the horizon. Tired, hungry and thirsty she started walking into the town, looking for an inn. After walking for what seemed like a lifetime, she finally stumbled upon a brick house with a sign hanging in front of the door. She strangled a laugh and pushed open the door, only to meet face to face with a young man, and a reception desk.

"_Welcome to The Falling Queen's inn and tavern!" _The man smiled at her, and she saw that he was actually quite handsome, with brown hair and grey eyes. He looked to be about her age, and his body looked strong, filled with muscles. She smiled back at him and requested a room for the night. The man happily obliged and she had to pass up two gold coins, but it did include one hot meal a day. She turned around in the entrance hall to take in the impression, and she saw a staircase leading to the second floor, and a door which only slightly muffled out the sound of laughter and screams, only a dozen of men could make.

A wicked smile spread across her face as she headed towards the door, only stopping to throw on her cloak and the hat Mr. Jefferson had given her on her first day on the Roger. When she opened the door it was like an invisible wall slammed into her, and she walked into a room heated by the many bodies present, and the distinct smell of rum. After almost four months surrounded by only men and the ocean, she found herself craving the company of men, and frowning her nose of the thought of spending her days with women. Walking in to the tavern she pulled her hat further down, so accustomed to pretending to be a boy, and made her way to the bar. The barkeep didn't give her a second glance as she ordered her rum, and once she had it in her hand, she turned around and let her eyes wander the room.

Surprisingly she saw Gilly, Smee and Mr. Jefferson. Knowing the three of them never left a certain captain's side, she crooked her head, trying to spot him. When she didn't see him she started walking towards the men, and noticed that they were talking to another one, who had some bar wench in his lap, covering his face and body. When Gilly first noticed her he turned into a deep crimson blush, saying something to the unidentified man, gesturing towards her. Mr. Jefferson and Smee refused to meet her eyes, and she felt a pang of pain in her chest, noticing for the very first time how much she had missed their companionship and attention.

When she stopped in front of them the pain in her chest was replaced by a boiling, white hot fury. The unidentified man was none other than Captain bloody Hook, and the wench now had her chest pressed up against his face. Her rage doubled as he didn't do anything to remove the wench, and a small voice in her head said she was jealous, but she soon strangled it. She wasn't jealous. She was just rightfully pissed.

She rolled her eyes, crossed her hands over her chest, and looked at the captain. _"Fi, fa, fo, I smell a whore on you." _She purred out the words, noticing how the wench abruptly turned towards her with a sneer on her face. _"And who the hell are you?"_ the wench spat out, apparently trying to hurt, or even scare Emma. Emma narrowed her eyes at the other woman, and heard how Smee made a noise similar to a catfight and how he grunted when both Mr. Jefferson's and Gilly's elbow's hit his ribs. _"I'm your worst bloody nightmare."_ She stared coldly at the woman before her; _"And I suggest that you leave now, before I twist that pretty little neck of yours right off your bloody shoulders."_ Her voice was like ice, and the wench just rolled her eyes as she stood to walk away, but Emma saw the fear in her eyes, and smirked.

When the wench was out of hearing range, the captain that had been quiet throughout the whole ordeal finally spoke up; _"What's the matter love, couldn't handle seeing me with another woman?"_ his words snapped her last string of patience and self-control. Bloody cocky pirate. Before anyone could react she was sitting on top of his lap, facing him, and wrapping her hands around his neck. She kissed him, only to spite him, mock him, or even over through him. But the second her lips met his, the anger inside her evaporated. Her blood was boiling with adrenalin and lust, and when his tongue flew over her bottom lip, she opened them and met his tongue with hers, in a battle for domination. She moaned into the kiss, and felt him grow under her. A small spot of panic hit her, but she pushed it down, and rocked her hips against his. His reaction was instant, his hook rested itself on the curve of her back, and his hand mingled into her hair, cupping the back of her head.

When Mr. Jefferson cleared his throat the bubble that surrounded them burst, and she drew back, resting her forehead on his with their noses touching. They were both short of breath, and she felt him struggling to control himself beneath her, a smile on his lips. _"In your dreams, captain."_ She said with a coy smile and withdrew completely, taking a seat next to Mr. Jefferson, leaving the captain with a confused face, and eyes filled with lust.


	12. Chapter 12

**A.N. **_I am sooo sorry about the late update, but I've had a really bad case of writer's-block lately! Hope you can forgive me, as I am now presenting the longest chapter I've ever written. There will be smutt, warning for that, and because this is the first time I've written anything smutty per sey !  
Enjoy._

* * *

_We make our lives out of chaos and hope. __And love._

* * *

Damn bloody infuriating woman. Fist she snuck onboard his beloved ship, and then she got his crew fall head over heels for her, and then she bloody left. In all of his life, Killian Jones had never met such an infuriating and, as much as he hated to admit it, fascinating woman.

When she had told them that she was leaving, he had to use all of his self-control not to ask her to stay. He had turned his heal and walked into his cabin, only to notice how empty it felt without her presence there, how his bed now looked too big. He'd spent the remaining hours of the day drinking rum, wanting and wishing that she came back. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone, of course, because Captain Hook didn't need any woman. All he needed was to get his revenge over the crocodile. And the only reason he wanted her to come back, was of course, that he was worried about her. After she had told him her story, it was only natural to wish to keep her safe. A knock on his door dragged him from his thoughts, and he found himself exited, thinking it was Swan who returned to him. Not that he cared, of course.

"_Who is it?" _he called, cursing under his breath over how shaky his voice was.

"_It's Gilly, Captain."_ The young lad's voice was silent through the door, but Killian still heard the nervous tone to it.

"_Well, are you going to keep standing out there, or get inside and t__ell me what's on your mind, lad?" _for all inside of him, he never could express anger towards the lad. When the door opened he looked up, and into the lad's eyes, only to wince of the pain and sadness he found in them.

"_Captain.. She's coming back, isn't __she? I mean, not that it's my business, but she's not gone, right?" _The lad's voice almost broke at the end, and Killian felt his heart twist painfully, his paternal instincts screaming at him. _"I don't know, lad. But how about we head down to the taverns,__ and I'll treat you with a drink?"_ he tried to sound positive, but he still saw the tears threatening to drown the lads eyes. How had he not noticed, that Swan had taken a maternal role of the boy, at least in the lads eyes? The lad only nodded and Killian pats his back with his good hand, leading them towards the door and eventually onto land. Jefferson and Smee found it a too good offer to refuse, and decided to join them, leaving the Roger in the competent hands of Thomas and John. The two was happy to oblige their captain, and willing to stay on the ship as guards, and Killian wrote a note behind his ear to send them a whore sometime through the evening.

When they first entered The Falling Queen's inn and tavern, he felt himself smile for the first time since Swan walked away, feeling at home with his fellow sailors, bottle upon bottle with rum, and women. The gang quickly made their way to a table in a dark corner, and after they ordered a round of rum, he sat his eyes on one of the wenches. She was a pretty woman, long brown hair flowing down her back, big brown eyes and seductive hips. After just a few glances she was sitting in his lap, kissing his neck, tracing her hands up and down his chest.

"_Captain, I want to go after Miss. Swan, and make sure t__hat she is settled and alright, if it's ok with you." _Gilly's words didn't surprise him, and after he had agreed, the subject soon dropped in regard for more pressing problems. Like the fact that Jefferson beat Smee in a game of cards, or that Gilly for the first time was allowed to drink rum with him. The boy had been over confident when his glass came, and he had taken the entire thing in one sip, only to choke a few seconds later. His face was red and there were tears in his eyes, as he coughed and cursed, while the older men around him laughed. Killian had almost forgotten that the lad was only thirteen years old, as he was tall and wise for his age, often giving the appearance of being years older than he was.

The conversation floated easily, and he found himself enjoying his time, paying only some attention to the woman on his lap. Until Gilly's words caused all conversations to halt; _"Captain! Miss. Swan is here! She's just by the bar! And she's walking towards us!" _the lad soon turned into a deep crimson blush, and Killian found himself smiling slightly. The boy gestured towards the direction Swan was coming from, but the wench on his lap didn't seem to notice, or care. He decided he would see how this played out, if Swan had any reaction to seeing him with his crew, or objections to Gilly's drinking.

"_Fi, fa, fo, I smell a whore on you." _He bit his bottom lip to keep himself from barking out a laugh, and he felt the woman on his lap stiffen. The woman's voice that was soft like butter just moments before, whispering promises of pleasure and fun, was now a sneer. _"And who the hell are you?" _He heard Smee make a noise resembling a catfight, and smirked to himself. He saw Jefferson and Gilly both elbow Smee in the ribs, and the man grunted, but stayed silent. _"I'm your worst bloody nightmare. And I suggest that you leave now, before I twist that pretty little neck of yours right off your bloody shoulders." _He had never heard Swan's voice so cold before, and he felt a shutter run down his spine, glad she didn't direct her anger towards him. The wench stiffened in his lap for only a second before she stood, and walked away.

He watched her walk away and smirked towards Swan. _"What's the matter love, couldn't handle seeing me with another wom__an?" _He saw how her face twisted at his words, and he started preparing himself for a blow that never came. Instead he found Swan sitting on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her green eyes glowed with determination, and she kissed him.

The second her lips met his, a blinding white desire filled his veins, and he allowed himself to lose himself in the kiss. He traced his tongue along her bottom lip, and a pang of surprise hit him, when she opened her mouth and met his tongue with her own. She moaned into his lips, and the sound made him grow hard under her, his hook nesting on the curve of her back, and his hand cradling the back of her head. He could feel her stiffen slightly on top of him, but before he could withdraw, she rocked her hips against his. He groaned into her mouth, and felt himself losing control, when he heard Jefferson clear his throat. Perfect bloody timing.

Swan drew back from him, and rested her forehead against his, breathing heavily. She gave him a coy smile, and her next words left him in pure confusion; _"In your dreams, captain."_ She moved from his lap and placed herself beside a flushed Jefferson. The man looked like he had seen better days, and from the look in his eyes, he would want the same for Killian. Maybe he played into this whole father-role to much?

Killian shrugged at the thought and picked up his glass of rum, taking it to his lips, never letting his eyes wander of Swan. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips bruised from their kiss, and her hair was tangled and set free from her hat. He smiled innocently at her and winked, chuckling slightly as her blush grew deeper. She had felt warm against him, perfect, soft. He wrinkled his nose, and ordered a new bottle of rum.

They spent the rest of the night drinking themselves into oblivion, and when they stumbled towards the Roger, he didn't question Swan's presence. And even as she lied down next to him, he couldn't see anything wrong in it, and he just pulled her close. He drew in her sent, her essence, and closed his eyes. Yes, she felt absolute perfect next to him.

The next morning when he woke he swore to himself that he would never touch rum again, and he groaned as he felt the presence of a woman beside him, remembering the bar-wench from last night. He blinked open his eyes slowly, fearing his head might explode, and turned towards the woman, preparing himself for the awkward dismissal that would follow. His breath caught in his throat as he saw the blond beauty lying next to him, resting her head in the crock of his arm, with her arm and leg thrown sheepishly over his chest and waist. Swan had always looked beautiful sleeping.

He couldn't deny it any longer, he was falling for her. Hard. He smiled at the realization, and chuckled to himself, regretting it seconds later when Swan began to stir. He watched how her eyes started fluttering, and she opened her eyes, green orbs meeting blue. _"__Morning."_ His voice sounded husky and he kept sure talking in a low voice, just in case she had a hangover. _"__Will it always feel like this?"_ she buried her face in the crook of his arm, shielding her eyes from the light, and snuggled closer to him. _"__Feel like what, love?"_

"_Like my head is exploding?"_ her question brought a new smile to his face, and as he remembered the kiss they shared the previous night, a wolfish grin appeared on his face.

"_I know the perfect cure for a hangover, you know."_ He spoke right into her ear, and felt how she shivered in response. _"__What's that?"_ she sounded skeptical and didn't lift her head. _"__An orgasm."_ Her eyes met his once again at his words, and he waited for the smack that was sure to come. Instead he was surprised when she lifted her face to his, and kissed him, light as a feather. _"__Ok."_ She breathed the word out, and it was all the encouragement he needed.

He leaned his body over her, and kissed her again, pouring all his passion and love into the kiss. Her hands found their way around his neck, and he leaned on his stump as his good hand traveled down her body. When he reached her breasts he cupped them, one at a time, and teased her nipples. She arched her back towards him, and he broke their kiss, only to place his lips on her neck. He kissed his way down towards her chest, taking one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking hard. She moaned in pleasure, and he nibbled it carefully, only to feel her hands in his hair, holding him in place. He cared for both nipples, turn after turn, leaving them swollen and wet in his wake. _"__Hook.."_ she breathed his namesake in pleasure, and he lifted his face to hers once more, kissing her hard. _"__Call me Killian, love."_ He could see the lust in her eyes, but also another feeling he didn't dwell upon, as his own lust overthrew him. His erection was acing, needing her, but he would wait. First her.

He kissed his way down to her breasts again, letting his hand now move towards her stomach and eventually her thighs. He felt his way down her legs, kissed his way down her stomach, and when his fingers moved up her inner thigh, she moaned his name again. His real name. _"__Gods love, you look amazing, bloody amazing."_ His words left his mouth as a moan, because she spread her legs before him, letting her see her most private parts. He let his fingers tease through her folds, and she whimpered silently. His eyes shot up to hers, and he saw fear and panic, tears starting to swell in her perfect green eyes.

He rose up towards her again, took her in his arms, and kissed the top of her head. She shook her head, and lifted her face to kiss his lips, surprising him yet again. _"__I know it's you. I trust you."_ Her voice was strong, and she kissed him once more, with passion and lust. He slowly made his way down south again, keeping sure to look in her eyes as he let his fingers trace her folds once more. She let her head fall back, moaning, saying his name. He pushed one finger inside her, and he could feel how wet she was. And it was all for him. She was wet for him, and him alone. The thought almost made him come undone. He moved his finger slowly, pumping it inside her, and then he added a second. Gods, she was so tight, that even he wondered if he could fit.

He moved his fingers inside her, and lowered his lips to her most sensitive spot, kissing it carefully. Her hands were in his hair again, and her hips bucked up to meet him, an invitation not even a blind man could miss. He let his tongue flicker over it and moaned. She tasted divine, like good wine, and the salty sea. He sucked, licked and nibbled at the pearl, while his fingers worked inside her, and he could soon feel her walls tightening around him, hearing her shouts of pleasure. She rode of her orgasm against his fingers and tongue, and when it was done she was panting. Killian smirked to himself, pleased by his own actions, but his erection demanded attention. He lifted himself over her body, kissing his way back up to her lips, still having the taste of her on his lips.

"_Emma, love, I need you."_ His words were so simple, yet so filled with lust and desire. She nodded and spread her legs even more beneath him, allowing him access, tracing her fingers along his back. He kissed her and placed himself towards her entrance, before he moved inside her, all at once. She was so warm, soft and tight. He didn't move, gave her time to adjust to his size. When she started rocking her hips, he withdrew almost completely, before sinking into her again. A moan slipped through his lips, filling the air, and he repeated the action. She pulled her legs behind his back, locking them at the ankles, urging him to continue. So he did. And he lost himself within her.

When they both came, he with a load moan, and she with screams of desire, he though she had never been more beautiful. He drew out from her, and shifted their positions so she was lying next to him, with her head on his chest. She traced invisible patterns on his stomach and he kissed the top of her head. It had never felt this way with Milah. Emma was like the sun, and he had been in the dark for too long, and now he was basking in her heat.

"_Stay with me."_ His words were silent, and he felt hope surround him as waited for her answer.


	13. Chapter 13

**_A.N._**_Ok, People, I am so so so so so sorry about the late update! I have had the worst case of writers-block EVER. And I've been buzy.  
My extended family have decided to pop up like weeds! Not a moments peace and quiet! But over to the story;  
There is some time jumping here, traveling ahead a few months at a time, and I'm sorry to say:  
The story is nearing its end.  
I still have a couple of chapters left, but there will be some serious time jumping in them. Like years.  
Dont hate me?  
This chapter hasn't been beta edited yet, and I'm sorry for that. My beta reader is currently unavailible... *Cries*  
**INE; KOM HJEM!** - For my Beta reader (In Norwegian!)  
Its short. I know. I promise the last chapters will be better. Enjoy!_

* * *

_My riches can't buy everything  
I want to hear the children sing  
All I hear is the sound  
Of rain falling on the ground  
I sit and watch  
As tears go by_

* * *

His words caressed over her tired and aching body, like a mothers loving touch and warm as sunshine, soothing as the sea. He wanted her to stay. Lying in his arms Emma Swan had never felt more contempt in her life and she felt tears starting to prick behind her eyes. She felt her body doze off, and as she closed her eyes, she sighed loudly into his chest.

"_You didn't really think I was going anywhere, did you?"_ Her voice was rasp from drowsiness and as darkness surrounded her she though she heard him muttering something about incredibly stubborn women. Stupid insufferable pirate.

When she woke once more, she was relieved to find the headache completely gone, and her stomach once more under control. She found comfort in lying in the familiar bed, and with Killian's smell surrounding her, the sounds of the crew working above her and the gentle rocking of the sea beneath her. She decided to stay put in the bed, drowsing through the day, relaxing and living in pure joy over their decision. She was staying. With him. With Killian.

The weeks passed faster than a blink of an eye, and they departed the port of Tortuga, seeking new adventures and seas. Most of the crew had been surprised to find out her secret, and some of the younger men had stared at her with lust in their eyes, while others had commented about the bad luck of women on board. They had been easily hushed by the older men, who had greeted her with a pat on the back, and sincere smiles. The younger men had turned around when Killian had made it clear that they would bring along three whores on the ship, until they reached port next. With joyful singing and sex on their minds, they had cleaned the ship faster than ever, if only to please the women. Emma soon found her rhythm alongside the crew again, even though Killian had placed her in the galley with Gilly, and she found a rhythm living alongside Killian as well. Their nights were spent together, either in their bed, or at the hem.

One day as she was peeling potatoes alongside Gilly in the galley the lad looked at her with curious eyes.

"_Excuse me, lady Swan?" _the men had soon begun to call her by that title, acknowledging her role on the ship, as their captain's lady.

"_Yes, dear?"_ she never looked up from her work at hand, but a small smile appeared on her face.

"_I was wondering, Lady Swan, if you didn't mind, that is, if you could find it in your heart to accompany me when we go ashore again, if only for a few hours, if you want, that is.." _the young lad's rambling and stuttering made her heart burst a bit, and when she finally looked up and saw the crimson shade on his skin, she smiled even wider at him.

"_I would be delighted to." _She tossed the peeled potato into the pan between them and took another one, finding her thoughts surrounded by Gilly, and what had driven him to the life of piracy. She knew he was young, only thirteen years of age, and that he looked at the captain as a father, and he had grown into looking at her like a mother. Was he an orphan like herself? Or did he have someone out there, waiting and wishing for his safe return? The thoughts stirred in her mind and she decided to ask the lad when they reached port. When they had a little more privacy.

- Four Months later -

Emma woke up feeling his fingers trace her hips, her stomach and just under her breasts. She smiled but didn't open her eyes, and when his fingers worked their way up her left breast and traced her nipple she moaned silently, not needing to open her eyes to know he was grinning. _"Awake, are we?"_ his words was hoarse, low, and too damn sexy. She felt a shutter run down her spine, and she grinned despite herself,

"_Don't let me interrupt you."_ He chuckled at her words and his fingers continued teasing her, giving her just enough to leave her wanting more, and she felt her frustration grow with every trace his fingers made. _"Killian." _Her voice was low, and a clear warning and she opened her eyes slightly, peeking up at him. His fingers traveled down her stomach but stopped, just before they came close to where she ached for him, choosing to travel over her hips once more.

"_Yes, love?"_ he was grinning from ear to ear, and she wanted to curse him, of course he was doing it on purpose. But two could play that game. She shifted slightly, and started tracing her own fingers up and down his body, from his collarbone to his hips, letting her fingers carefully scratch him. He drew a sharp breath, and she knew she had him.

"_Oh, nothing, I just wanted to tell you that you're an idiot."_ She lifted her head and kissed him, just under his earlobe, and he growled deep in his throat. His hand gripped her breast with such force that she couldn't help but arch into his touch. They had made love the previous evening, slowly and carefully, kissing and caressing. But this wasn't about making love. This was pure lust, and pure sex, and it drove her crazy. His lips crashed into hers and he forced her mouth open with his, his tongue dancing with hers, and she moaned into him.

His hand travelled from her breast and down to her folds, pushing two fingers inside her, and rubbing her pearl with his thumb. She cried out at the sudden intrusion, but she soon found herself moaning, and reaching her peak. While her walls were still clamping down and she shook with the orgasm that made her eyes see white spots he positioned himself between her legs and pushed inside, kissing her fiercely. His thrusts were swift and hard, and she had to hold onto his arms, meeting his hips with her own.

She cried out his name as she came, once again, and she heard him grunting and calling out hers seconds later. When he relaxed on top of her, she trapped him with her arms and legs, kissing his temple and running her hands through his hair and over his back.

"_You may be an idiot, pirate, but you are my idiot. Don't forget that."_ Her words were muffled out into his hair, and when she kissed him, he chuckled lightly.

"_Don't worry about that, love. I'm not __**that**__ big of an idiot."_


End file.
